Overdosing on Low Fat Granola – It’s a Sweet Death

Low Fat Granola, ’tis a sweet death

Ah yeah, death is never sweet, unless of course you overdose on well sweetened US Granola, or indeed a pile of sugar. They are of course equivalent, it’s really just the texture in the difference.

By the way, Granola is just what they call Muesli over here in the states. It seems to me, and I could just possibly be wrong, that the US-ers came back after the second world war with a load of Muesli, mixed things up with some sugar and CRUNCH, Granola was born. It’s almost as though they took the German language, knocked the corners off it with a rumble in a sugar cane jungle and whoopah the French won out. That would be the linguistic equivalent anyway.

But my favourite aspect of the Granola story is not that they ripped off the German’s “Piece de Résistance”, or that they seemingly named it after some Spanish granny. No, my favourite attribute of US Granola is that you can get it in “Low Fat”. BRILLIANT, I mean you take all of the key ingredients, write low fat before each one and crunchy-fizzle you’ve got a whole new marketable product! Low fat raisins, low fat sugar, low fat rolled oats. Fantabulous, think of the other food products we could apply this to, low fat water, low fat tea, low fat apples… be the holy man, I’d better stop, someone’s going to rob these ideas and patent them.

If you do want a crunch for your lunch,
Or your brunch or your fancy pink punch,
‘stead of buyin’ some bread,
Have the fruit oats instead,
A bowla granola to munch.

P.S. This article is factish, and by the way, beef apparently has ingredients…

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